Reverse Culture Shock and Returning Home

Wow. It's been several months since I posted. All summer I kept meaning to write more and more about the aftermath of studying abroad. I could say I was busy, but honestly, I simply forgot.

My current state of affairs is as follows: I'm back at school for my final year. The first week of classes are over. I'm sitting on a couch in the theme house in which I live and am moderator of (read: kind of an RA). I am also procrastinating on homework, surprise!

So, to be blunt, adjustment to life back in the States was (and still is) rough. It's not particularly due to the cultural differences, but because of the fact that I spent four months away from nearly everyone I knew and loved, and nobody's life froze during that time. Things happened, friendships were made and lost, people moved forward, and I wasn't there to see or experience it with them. Don't misinterpret me, I knew this would happen, but returning and hearing everyone talk about things that occurred while I was away is rough, particularly when it's several of your close friends got closer to each other and farther from you while you were gone. Knowing it would occur doesn't make it any easier, nor less isolating.

In my experience, many of the people who I thought would be really excited to see me again didn't really seem to be upon our reunion, and the people with who I was just simple casual friends were the ones who were enthusiastic when I saw them for the first time in however many months. Which on the one hand, at least some people were overjoyed to see me, but on the other hand, having close friends of yours act "eh" about my return hurts a lot.

When people see you for the first time, it's usually "Hey! How was Berlin??," which is answered with something running along the lines of "Oh, it was great." This results in the person giving you an expectant or strange look, as they want more information. But, hey, fun fact, it's really hard to talk about or sum up four months of experiences in ten seconds. I started going with the "It was great. Learned a lot, saw a lot, but glad to be home," which tended to satisfy people's polite desires of inquiring about my time away.

However, beyond that, nobody really seems to be interested in hearing about what you did while you were abroad. I've almost stopped trying to talk about my time abroad entirely, because when I begin a story or sprout off a fact about life abroad, nobody really seems to care. Polite attention, slight nods and immediately jumping to say something new once I finish are the result. I can count on one hand the number of people I've been able to talk about my life and experiences abroad who have genuinely seemed interested.

Feeling isolated after studying abroad is incredibly normal and it sucks. It is a very draining thing to return home after a long time away only to find that many people don't really seem to care, and nobody wants to hear you talk about the amazing experiences and things that occurred. There were times over the summer where all I could really do was sit in my room alone and try not to cry because I missed Berlin, and felt guilty for not being happy at being home due to my isolation.

So, PSA, if you know someone who has returned from study abroad, show them a little extra love. Really listen when they talk about their time away. Understand that they probably feel isolated and alone, and make an effort to include them. Show how happy you are that they're back. It will help enormously and they'll appreciate it greatly.

I'm not going to delete or end this blog, as I'm leaning towards keeping it for when I travel in the future, and there may be more posts about Berlin to come. We'll see. Either way, thanks for sticking it out with me. Until the next adventure.

Love,
Sarah